Wow...
God has done nothing short but shake my core for the last six weeks. Little did I know that as I went through the release that day that I last posted here, I was starting a journey that is still very much in it's infancy, but is the most beautiful experience of my life.
I think this process started in January, when I began to attend Men's Fraternity at C-Church. This weekly men's group has gotten me thinking about manhood and the foundation of faith and conviction that I am currently establishing that will literally define me for the next 20, 30, 40 years. Through that and weekly conversations with my close friends Ross and Austin, and a breakfast with Tim Meldrum, my dear friend and pastor from Atlanta... I have completely reorganized my entire approach to christianity, realizing that in a lot of ways, I have had such an immature approach. I have lived with such a legalistic perspective. Not so much the judgmental elements of a legalist, but more so in the intense focus on good and bad, righteousness versus sin, and keeping a checklist on my sin. The sum of these ideals in my life led to a never-ending cycle of sin, guilt, repentance, redemption, sin, guilt.... etc., ugh... I am letting that GO... man it feels so good. As christians, we need not focus on "not sinning," but on communion with God and a relationship with our heavenly father... after all, that's what Jesus' sacrifice was all about... to open that door. In Hebrews 12:2, it states that Christ "with the joy set before him endured the cross" and despised the shame... It was set before Him. Christ KNEW what His sacrifice was offering to every human EVER... life in Him and a personal relationship with our heavenly Father. He took JOY in that?! despised the shame of the cross, bore the pain on our behalf WITH JOY!? How could I not be wrecked by that?
The thing is... Legalism, though encouraging righteousness, is an insult to God's grace. We literally have nothing to offer God. If we approach it with the attitude that we can contribute to our salvation, that sells God short. He doesn't need our help, He wants to rescue us! We want a role in our salvation, but we have none. We are depraved, we are broken, and can only be rescued and redeemed from it. Of course, the other side of the coin is abusing God's grace by living in sin and feeling covered by that grace, using it as an excuse to continue sinning. Read Romans 6, it blatantly addresses that abuse of God's grace. God's grace is meant for us to live a holy life, don't ever let that be forgotten! Temptation for sin will always exist, but it should lead us to God, to His throne, not away from Him and into sin. The key is that He doesn't want us to be obessesed over sin vs. righteousness... he wants us to abandon ourselves, exchange our lives for Christ's and realize Christ is the only man who ever truly "lived" the christian life. For us, on our own, this is an impossibility. We are completely incapable of living perfectly, we will utterly fail. Thus, the beauty of allowing Christ to live in us and through us to those around us... because in doing that, we CAN live and walk. It's not about trying to be like Christ, because though that is a good notion, it still focuses on us trying succeed by our own power.... Quite simply, it is about Galatians 2:20... Dying to self daily and Christ being the center of our lives, recognizing that Christ has to live out through us.
